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About Hobbyist Artist Alex JamesMale/United Kingdom Group :iconfreelancer-city: Freelancer-City
Calling all Freelancers
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Deviant for 7 Years
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Newest Deviations

Literature
I'm sorry
I'm sorry. I knew it was coming, I knew it had to happen, but I always hoped it wouldn't.
Now you're gone, and I have to wonder, what if I'd been better?
What if I had stayed in touch, or been a better friend?
Would we still be friends, or something more?
Now your gone, and I have to wonder, what part did I play?
Did what I say influence you, help you make this choice?
I can't take back what I said, and I don't know if I want to.
Because I meant it when I said I love you.
You and he were so far apart, miles and hours away,
and you had a home, family and friends.
Now you've moved across the country,  and now I realise,
that distance meant nothing in your hearts.
Now you are together, and I wish you all the best.
I will always love you, you know that, right?
So why does it hurt me so, just to see your name?
To see what you post online,
To talk to the friends you left behind,
To know that I'll never see you again?
I hope you've though things through,
because if you ever need help,
I
:iconPantstall:Pantstall
:iconpantstall:Pantstall 3 5
To Dream in Black and White: Part 39 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 39 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 5 3 To Dream in Black and White: Part 38 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 38 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 4 0 To Dream in Black and White: Part 37 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 37 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 2 0 To Dream in Black and White: Part 36 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 36 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 4 0 To Dream in Black and White: Part 35 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 35 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 2 0 20 Years by Pantstall 20 Years :iconpantstall:Pantstall 0 0 Singles day by Pantstall Singles day :iconpantstall:Pantstall 0 0 To Dream in Black and White: Part 34 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 34 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 1 0 RIP Terry Pratchett. by Pantstall RIP Terry Pratchett. :iconpantstall:Pantstall 1 0 Monty by Pantstall Monty :iconpantstall:Pantstall 1 0 To Dream in Black and White: Part 33 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 33 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 1 0 To Dream in Black and White: Part 32 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 32 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 1 0 ID 2014 by Pantstall ID 2014 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 2 0 To Dream in Black and White: Part 31 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 31 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 0 1 To Dream in Black and White: Part 30 by Pantstall To Dream in Black and White: Part 30 :iconpantstall:Pantstall 0 0

Favourites

Day 23: Reversed Personality by EmilXOM Day 23: Reversed Personality :iconemilxom:EmilXOM 20 6 possessed by steelsuit possessed :iconsteelsuit:steelsuit 62 4 New 1 by Spectre576 New 1 :iconspectre576:Spectre576 14 0 Fire Punch!! by trisketched Fire Punch!! :icontrisketched:trisketched 98 1 McVey Kong VS Rhedosaurus Matchup Idea? by Legrandzilla McVey Kong VS Rhedosaurus Matchup Idea? :iconlegrandzilla:Legrandzilla 60 27 Albertosaurus by LindseyWArt Albertosaurus :iconlindseywart:LindseyWArt 224 15 107 by Chuzaura 107 :iconchuzaura:Chuzaura 25 2 Pensive by EmMelody Pensive :iconemmelody:EmMelody 65 6 Arrow by sugarpoultry Arrow :iconsugarpoultry:sugarpoultry 92 3 Batmanday2017 speedoodle! by Entropician Batmanday2017 speedoodle! :iconentropician:Entropician 51 20 Jeans by XAV-Drawordie Jeans :iconxav-drawordie:XAV-Drawordie 73 1 Momo Yaoyorozu | Boku no hero academia by Haanakko Momo Yaoyorozu | Boku no hero academia :iconhaanakko:Haanakko 38 6 Starset Poster Gif by SquatinaCaprium Starset Poster Gif :iconsquatinacaprium:SquatinaCaprium 33 3 [4K UHD] Battlefield - Colt 1905 by AssassinWarrior [4K UHD] Battlefield - Colt 1905 :iconassassinwarrior:AssassinWarrior 57 1

Journal History

Activity


I'm sorry. I knew it was coming, I knew it had to happen, but I always hoped it wouldn't.
Now you're gone, and I have to wonder, what if I'd been better?
What if I had stayed in touch, or been a better friend?
Would we still be friends, or something more?

Now your gone, and I have to wonder, what part did I play?
Did what I say influence you, help you make this choice?
I can't take back what I said, and I don't know if I want to.
Because I meant it when I said I love you.

You and he were so far apart, miles and hours away,
and you had a home, family and friends.
Now you've moved across the country,  and now I realise,
that distance meant nothing in your hearts.

Now you are together, and I wish you all the best.
I will always love you, you know that, right?
So why does it hurt me so, just to see your name?

To see what you post online,
To talk to the friends you left behind,
To know that I'll never see you again?

I hope you've though things through,
because if you ever need help,
I will want to be there,
to try and make things right,

It won't be my last goodbye.
I can't say it,
I'm so sorry.

I love you. I wish things had been different.
I'm sorry
So, those of you who read my journals will know that I had a friend I had a crush on, a young woman who has a boyfriend that lives a long way away. As of the weekend just gone as of the posting of this, she quit her job and finally moved up the country to be with him. She's nervous, and considering that she's just moved in with him, that's understandable.

My feelings for her have not made this easy. For all that I want to be supportive, every time she posts something, and I see the location tag come up, it feels like my heart is trying to tear itself free from my chest.

Of course, if I had been a better person, maybe we might still be friends. But no. I was creepy, and I inadvertently told her how I felt. Any chance we had of being friends again vanished in that moment. She never said anything to me ever again. I doubt she ever wants to acknowledge that I even exist.

So now she's gone, and I feel like shit. I know she'll never read his, but I wanted to get my thoughts out. And if she does? If you are reading this? I love you, K. I'm so proud of the woman you've become. I miss you.
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Greetings, everybody!

You may have noticed that there haven't been any updates recently. There will be more Nuzlocke coming in the future, but I want to finish the next chapter before I start uploading. So it might be a while. I've also been writing and re-writing other stuff, which I hope to achieve one day. Plus, what with work and other things, I haven't had a great deal of time to scan things in.

A lot of stuff I started years ago, I plan on re-doing at some point, and some I don't intend to continue. One way or another, I will be continuing. I hope you're along for the ride.
  • Listening to: Owl City
  • Reading: on mah Kindle
  • Watching: RWBY volume 3
  • Playing: Pokemon, Halo, Minecraft, X-Com, Overwatch
  • Eating: Food
  • Drinking: Drink
A sad day, as Donald Trump becomes the 45th president of the USA. So, a man who treats women like objects, ethnic minorities as criminals, is a racist, intolerant TWAT... is the president. He's brought out the worst in people, brought to the surface the hatred, bigotry and general intolerance that was always there, but kept out of sight. People of colour, LGBTQ, women, children, those who need help... They're in real trouble.

So that's what we, the people of the world, not just the USA, need to look out for those in need. Step up, take care of those who are going to suffer under Trump. Help push back the crap and intolerance that has been building up. Trump is going to try and "make America great again" but he's going to do more harm than good. We need to do more good.

Fight for equality, for good. Fight to see the smile on a small child's face. Fight to see a country where you can love. Where a Muslim woman doesn't have to fear attack. Where a same sex couple can express their love in public without fear. Where the ill can receive affordable healthcare. While there is life there is hope.

Please know, that if you want to see the USA, the world, become a better place, you will be welcome here. If you feel threatened by people who would deny your right to live, you are welcome here. We can, at the very least, reduce the damage that is going to be done.

That's all for now. Love yourselves. Love each other. And know I'm here to help where I can.
Alex, :)
  • Listening to: Owl City
  • Reading: on mah Kindle
  • Watching: RWBY volume 3
  • Playing: Pokemon, Halo, Minecraft, X-Com, Overwatch
  • Eating: Food
  • Drinking: Drink
Greetings, everybody!

You may have noticed that there haven't been any updates recently. There will be more Nuzlocke coming in the future, but I want to finish the next chapter before I start uploading. So it might be a while. I've also been writing and re-writing other stuff, which I hope to achieve one day. Plus, what with work and other things, I haven't had a great deal of time to scan things in.

A lot of stuff I started years ago, I plan on re-doing at some point, and some I don't intend to continue. One way or another, I will be continuing. I hope you're along for the ride.
  • Listening to: Owl City
  • Reading: on mah Kindle
  • Watching: RWBY volume 3
  • Playing: Pokemon, Halo, Minecraft, X-Com, Overwatch
  • Eating: Food
  • Drinking: Drink

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Pantstall's Profile Picture
Pantstall
Alex James
Artist | Hobbyist
United Kingdom
Greetings, everybody! My name is Alex, but I also answer to Pantstall, AJ, Al, Alice (normally by mistake) and any number of things. I live in the UK, and I am, or at least was, a webcomic artist. Due to time constraints, I don't update as often as I should, but I have big plans. Feel free to talk to me.
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:iconentropician:
Entropician Featured By Owner 5 hours ago  Professional General Artist
Hi, thanks for the fav, I hope you'll enjoy even the rest of my gallery, have a good day, bye!:) 
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:iconizlude13:
Izlude13 Featured By Owner 7 hours ago
Thanks for the faves!  ^^
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:iconitzikgur:
itzikgur Featured By Owner 15 hours ago  Professional General Artist
thank you very much for faving my work. this makes me very happy :)
Roses 3 by itzikgur  
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:iconffdp-neko:
FFDP-Neko Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Thank you for the :+fav:
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:icondebasishphotos:
DebasishPhotos Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks a lot for the fave.:) (Smile) 
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:icondieffi:
Dieffi Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconcloudsplz::iconcloudsplz::iconcloudsplz::iconsmilesunplz::iconcloudsplz::iconcloudsplz::iconcloudsplz:

:iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz:
:iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz:
:iconlascrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::icondummyscrollplz::iconlascrollplz:
:iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz::iconlascrollplz:

:iconemptyspaceplz::iconemptyspaceplz::icontnxfav1::icontnxfav2::icontnxfav3:
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:iconmartidy:
Martidy Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student General Artist
thank you for the fav! If you like my works, you can also follow me on fb:
www.facebook.com/martidyl

thanks, and have a nice day! :) 
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:iconorchidkitty:
orchidkitty Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for faving my fanart Mashup Challenge :)
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:iconingeline-art:
ingeline-art Featured By Owner 4 days ago   Traditional Artist
Thanks so much  for the Llama -
that means so  much for me!
Ingeline -art cologne Heart :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: HeartLlama...an important part of life
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:iconingeline-art:
ingeline-art Featured By Owner 5 days ago   Traditional Artist
Thanks so much for faving -
that means so much for me !
Ingeline-art cologne ;-) (Wink)))Huggle! Hug Heart :happybounce:
sunflower cats by ingeline-art
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